Five Months

My Dearest Joslyn,

You are five months old today, and this completely blows my mind. This month has been a fun one because the nice weather is finally here. We've been able to go out and enjoy the sunshine a lot, and you just love to take it all in. Swims and Grandma R's house. Play dates with friends. Long walks. Your first trip to the zoo. Your first Canada Day, and Auntie Rihana's high school graduation celebrations.



This month we also celebrated a very special day. Your daddy's first Father's Day was on June 21st. He thoroughly enjoyed his day which consisted of a pancake breakfast, a special gift and card from you, a trip to visit your Grandpa M, and a drive out to the Half Moon for dinner. Sounds a bit like our travels on Mother's Day, but it was perfect, and a day that your dad will treasure forever. He is so proud of everything you are, and everything you do, and is always sharing the most recent pictures of you with his colleagues. He is completely taken with his little girl, just as you are with him.



We were happy to see your colic completely disappear this month. It is officially something that we can say you no longer suffer from. I can't begin to tell you how much it had affected us, being completely heartbroken to see you hurting. Knowing there was nothing we could do to help you, but still trying anything and everything we could think of. We are so incredibly grateful that you are now living a healthy and completely content existence.



I am starting to discover that you are just a liiiiitle bit crazy like your mommy. What I mean by that is, you find it impossible to sit still for a moment. When you want something that's within reach, whether that's grabbing for objects, or learning to roll over and crawl, you go for it with full-on gusto! You want it, or just have to do it. Stat! I laugh and tell your dad how much trouble I think we might be in. Or more like, how much trouble he might be in. Two girls, with the same busy personality, under one roof?! All I can say is that your dad will be tired, but a saint, if he isn't one already.



It seems you've developed quite the habit this month. Or perhaps obsession is a more descript term. Thumb Sucking. You've discovered how readily available it is, and you've mastered it. And just like everything else you do, it is simply adorable. You suck your thumb when you are either tired or hungry, so it's our convenient new cue that you're in need of something. I sucked my thumb when I was a baby too. Well, not only a baby, but as it turns out, a toddler, a child, and embarrassingly (and at the time unknowingly) enough, a teenager too. Around age 12, years after I thought I'd given up my thumb, Grandma R walked into my bedroom and found me sleeping . . . with my thumb in my mouth. It has been recently joked that I should talk to your dad about this, as there's a possibility it may still be happening today. I hope not, and I hope that it is a habit you can easily break when the time comes. Just like my Grandma R (your great-grandma) used to say to me: "What flavor is it today sweetheart? Chocolate? or Strawberry?", we now get to ask you the same cute questions.



For the past little while, you've been playing strange to others. And I don't mean to just anybody, I mean to everybody. Grandmas & Grandpas too. You are okay if it's a friendly smile someone has given you. You affectionately smile back, and what seems to be, in hopes that the gesture sends people packing. But in the event that someone other than daddy or I pick you up, it's a bit of a different story. You watch me like a hawk, never taking your eyes off me, making sure I don't go anywhere. And if this holding business goes on for any longer, than oh, lets say, a minute or two, you bring out 'the lip' wanting to come back to us. As much as I think this is just a phase, and that you definitely need to get used to others holding you, I secretly adore it. Just a little. Is that wrong? Our loved ones are so important to us, so of course we want you to love them as much as we do, but this little neediness of yours is making us feel like we must be doing something right. To be the center of your world, and your main source of comfort is, well, a pretty nice feeling. And frankly, there is no place else we'd rather be.



You've developed a new form of moving around besides your usual rolling. One could call it crawling, but you aren't moving your arms and legs in a rhythmic motion per se, to get from point A to point B. It's more like a 'Lift, Push, & Dive!' motion that goes a little something like this. You get yourself up on all fours. (Got that part down, check). But then you dig your toes into the carpet and push your bum up to the ceiling so that your body is in the shape of an upside down 'V'. And then you dive head first towards the ground (while we protectively watch over you of course), which coincidentally, or so you've figured out, moves you forward an inch or two. Repeat as required. The fact that you've come up with this little 'bit' has us completely stoopified, but proud as punch none the less. So we find ourselves wondering, wouldn't crawling just be a heck of a lot easier? :-)



And lastly, I have a confession to make. When it comes to you, I have a few little obsessions of my own. First of all, I love to kiss you. You are so darn kissable, that I worry I'm going to suck the nose straight off your face. It is completely sick. It's almost like when I come towards you, lips pursed and ready for landing, you start to quickly bat your eyes as if to say "good god, here she comes again!". I do know that it can't be all bad, because you always smile when I do it, and because it is so important for you to be shown how much you're loved. And the second confession is that I love to smell you. I love to smell the nape of your neck, the top of your head, your hands, your toes, and behind your ears. If I had to guess why I love to do this, it's probably because I'm trying to cement these beautiful baby smells of yours, in my mind, forever. It saddens me that it is something that will dissipate (or at least should, as I'm sure you won't want your mother smelling the spaces between your toes at 16), but it is something I just never want to forget.

Sweetheart, I love you up to the sky, down to the ground, and more.

Love,
Your Mama Bear